I haven’t been able to keep up with my weekly writing
because true to my due date, on week 40, my baby has indeed arrived!
5 days before the due date (Wednesday), irregular cramps
have started although not painful. On Friday, I went for a walk with my mum
where contractions have become stronger, by 7:30
pm we have decided to note down the regularity of them. When we reached
the hospital, I was only dilated 2 cm
but I couldn’t risk going back home as the pain was starting to be quite
unbearable. Good thing, I didn’t go back home as the most agonising pain that
exists in this world hit me pretty quick. Gas and air helped in the beginning
and I must admit, I did enjoy the drowsiness. As the pain became more and more
excruciating I was offered pexitocin and paracetamol but I refused. I was foolish
enough to think that I was strong enough to control and handle the pain and my
muscles. I agreed to sitting in warm bath, which was the best decision ever.
Warm water had an incredible soothing effect. However, at the end, I was
begging on my knees for an epidural.
The epidural was a life-saver at first but a couple of hours
later, the pain came back with all its original intensity. My legs were numb
but I could still feel everything around my belly. After suffering a few more
hours, it was realised that there was a mistake with the epidural, so a second
one had to be done. By then, I was completely exhausted as well as my husband
and mum. We all were trying to take small naps in uncomfortable positions in
the delivery room. After a long night, by Saturday mid-day I still wasn’t
dilated beyond 3cm. My waters have been broken by the midwife and I was given
inducing medication. Funny, after all the time and intention of staying clear
of all sorts of medication and wishing for the most natural birth, I couldn’t
control being so drugged up.
Towards the end of Saturday, due to our mistake of not
topping up the epidural enough, the entire pain came back again! The midwife
thought this could help with adrenalin and help me push. What it only did was
to give an agonising pain to my left leg, which made me feel like cutting it
and getting rid of it completely and it made me even more exhausted.
I was screaming like there was no one else on Earth. So embarrassing!
God only knows what else I did or said. I do remember throwing up though. So
ladylike!!! For the first 3 hours of Sunday morning I pushed and pushed unsuccessfully.
My drugs were topped up again to almost a C-section operation level and I
finally had some more energy to push but again with no success. Vantouse didn’t
work and as the theatre was being prepared for a C-section, forceps finally did
the trick – though the baby did refuse coming out with it as well! My mum says
that as my baby was coming out, her eyes were open and she had a very serious
face as if she was questioning why she was being forced out.
She was first put on my belly and then frisked away. No one
had even told us the gender at the time as, as soon as it was ensured that the
baby was healthy, everyone’s focus was on me. I had lost a lot of blood,
endured cuts, forceps, lots of drugs, shock and my body was shaking
uncontrollably. I felt incredibly cold as well. I was told that the shaking would last at least an hour; however, as soon as my baby was put back on my skin, the shaking and the coldness disappeared immediately. It was like a miracle.
To make a long story short, after checking in at the
hospital on Friday evening and 33 hours of labour, we were not discharged from
the hospital until the following Wednesday afternoon due to the complications I
faced, especially with my blood levels. Thankfully, my beautiful baby daughter
has been well.
Everything I wanted to avoid and do differently during the
labour was thrown out the window. It is simply impossible to plan it. You can
only pray and hope that it will turn out to be easy and quick enough and you
will end up with a happy and healthy baby.
As soon as I get the chance and time, which is extremely
rare to come by nowadays, I wish to write and keep record of the first days and
–if possible- years of my baby daughter on a similar platform on f1rstyears.blogspot.com. Fingers crossed!
PS: We lost the camera with which we took my darling
daughter’s first pictures and videos in a car we rented. I am completely
devastated!
