Extreme Discomfort

I have always thought that babies that are late are better sleepers and eaters and they gain more for spending more time in their mother's womb. So I had no rush for this baby to come out since also this is probably my last pregnancy, I wanted to last as long as possible.

However, with the extreme heat of the London summer and the increased pressure that pregnancy is putting on my body (some extremely excruciatingly painful and scary side effects of pregnancy, about which I would be too embarrassed to write  here), I think I am getting to a point where I am ready for the baby come out and my body to start healing. I know that the next stage is actually much harder than pregnancy but I simply cannot wait to start healing.

The Unbearable Heat

Who would have thought that summer in London would feel like the Med or even the Sahara Desert? Or perhaps I feel it more because of pregnancy but I am not enjoying it! I cannot function properly in this heat being so massively pregnant and looking after my toddler. Often times, at the height of the heat, it feels like I am going to faint. My limbs and feet being swollen don't help the situation either.

Worse is watching on the news what's happening to children in war torn countries and not knowing what I can do to help or change the situation. How can humans be so heartless, so cruel? I spent the entire evening and last night crying. I still cannot get the images I saw out of my mind. And I shouldn't. We shouldn't forget. I need to do something but what?

This week's NCT refresher course was an eye opener on the difficulties of handling two children, especially in the first 6 weeks, which truly freaked me out. My mother's health problems are not making me feel at ease at all either. 

Little time

At my last appointment, the midwife told me that the baby's head in engaged and that it can come any time now! I am not sure if I am psychologically ready yet. 

The summer heat is making it very difficult to cope and sleep. So I am already tired. I remember from last time, how much physical strength is required during labour and delivery and I am not sure that I have that strength and energy right now. And I know that the real difficult bit is after the baby arrives. So I am in no rush. Closer to the due date, the better for me.

Scary tantrums

As my first one's terrible twos have suddenly reappeared and getting so close to the due date, I am getting more and more worried about how I am going to handle everything when the new baby arrives.

Worse is not getting any help. Someone always has an excuse for something. Even within family, my fatigue is downplayed and I am asked to shake it up and come back to my senses. When I react to such comments, I am branded as "aggressive." Some people really do not know how to empathise. 

Still not ready

The midwife told me in my last appointment that the baby could arrive even within 3 weeks. My panic mode is in red alert. I am not ready at all!

I still need to sort out the baby's room. We are still to decide on a name. We still need to sort out who is going to look after our first one when we are at the hospital. And I still need to spend more quality, cuddling time with my first one! Panic panic panic!!!!