I am a whale!

I have just seen recent photos of myself and the situation is worse than I thought! And this time around I am definitely exercising more than I did with my previous two pregnancies. Though, I cannot stop myself from grazing on sugary snacks after I put the kids to bed. It's like that's my "me time" and that's how I can enjoy it.

The midwife had told me that with each pregnancy, the toll it takes on the body is harder, more difficult. I am quite worried about how or if my body will be able to recover from all that I am going through.

I just don't feel like being among other human beings. I feel so ugly and unpresentable.

On the other hand, I want the baby to feel loved and cared for. I hope I can project that to her even now.

Fatigue

And I feel tired again...I find it harder and harder to do a full day's work and started to wishing to procrastinate. My energy levels are suddenly very low. All I want now is to finish off all work and spend the rest of my pregnancy with my first one and preparing for the new baby.

Baby Blues

My husband and I took a weekend trip to the country side with some friends and did loooots of walking. I don’t think I ever walked so much in my life. And yet, I see from the pictures that we have taken that my petite pregnancy image has completely disappeared and I am officially an elephant. My face, arms, bum and thighs truly complement the size of my protruding belly. I am MASSIVE! I really hope that I will not have too much trouble losing this extra weight.

Many women told me about the blues they experienced while they were pregnant and I brushed them off as I haven’t been feeling particularly emotional or sensitive – or at least not more than usual. However, this week I have been feeling down and low for reasons I cannot point out. Of course there is the anxiety and the fear over if we will be good parents, if our baby will be completely healthy, if our social life will change dramatically. I guess receiving the prospectus of a potential private school didn’t help it either.

The school fees are outrageous and get me thinking already how we can afford the best education for our child. I always wished to have at least two kids for the joy, noise and laughter at home – as I grew up as a lonely only child. Now, I am not even sure if it is financially possible due to the ridiculous school fees!