All Pain and Fatigue

I cannot believe that I am already a few days away from getting into my third trimester - as I completely skipped the first trimester and part of the second trimester. On the other hand, I am already so huge that I am scared about the next 2.5 or 3 months. How much bigger can I get?

And the pain! My goodness...I have constant back pain this time and cramps. It's quite uncomfortable and makes me miserable; though I am not sure if the pain and cramps are due to handling two kids under the age of 5 already or related to pregnancy.

Six and half months already

The best thing about this pregnancy has been the fact that I did not know about it for the first half of it. Now time is flying by, so I don't have to do too much waiting around. It is actually quite exciting this way!

First Appointment

I managed to have my very first midwife appointment at 25 weeks! Better late than never I guess. Though I was made to spend 8 hours in the hospital on that day as the midwife wanted the redness on my calf to be checked by a doctor. Then I needed a scan.

Thankfully, it is not DVT but besides being quite unsightly, it is painful. At times, I can't even step on my right foot, especially if I have been on my feet all day - which is most days. Joys of pregnancy...

The lady who comes to help me part-time will be leaving for a few months when the new baby is about 3 months old as she will go to help her daughter with her new baby. So I thought it would be best to send my second one to nursery but 8 months in advance I am told that they are already fully booked! I am truly in panic mode now.

A Marching Ton of Fat

I cannot believe that my body is going through this again: becoming so big, fat and heavy. I do worry if I will ever go back to normal again.

I feel weaker in the gym. I cannot participate as much in my usual classes.

The dark varicose on my leg has enlarged to a size of a foot. It is so unsightly. I wonder if it will ever disappear after giving birth.

I am constantly anxious about how I am going to handle everything physically and financially. I am working hard to save the money I need for the new baby but I am still very short of it.

I just want to have the peace of mind and the baby to feel peaceful as well. 

Already Massive and Tired

I am always on the move with work and kids. It's non-stop. So maybe that's why I do not feel the baby's movements until I sit down for 5 minutes in the evening. Even then it is quite faint.

Whilst still trying to organise everything in my head (still couldn't figure out the new sleeping arrangements in the house), I am anxiously waiting for my very first midwife appointment and next scan. I hope that the baby is growing healthily.

In the meantime, I notice that I have started to get tired more easily. I still have around 17 weeks to go. I cannot afford to be tired and gaining so much weight at this point!

I am glad to have sorted out my maternity nurse and night nanny although it is going to cost me an arm and a leg, with three little ones under the age of 5, I have no other choice. The house will be crowded! On top of all that, with family members and relatives wanting to come over around the time of birth is not making anything easier.

Routines? Juggling

My worries do not go away. There are mornings I wake up (around the time when my second one wakes up lately, 5 am) and panic about how I am going to handle the mornings; feeding the baby, calming my second one down, getting my oldest ready for school, prepare breakfast for everyone, dropping off my oldest to school with the two little ones tagging alone...

I also panic about bedtime; how I am going to handle it. We are still not final on what we are going to do about sleeping arrangements, who's going to sleep where. If my second one moves in with my first one, they might wake each other up. Who will I put to bed first? How will I manage them all in the bathroom? How will I convince my oldest one not to keep her lights on and read her books loudly and play in bed because her brother will have to sleep in the same room with her. I am going mad thinking about all this and how I will cope with the exhaustion, lack of sleep, the inhuman waking up hours of 4-5am because I know what's coming... 

Concerns, Worries, Scans

I've been to four scans in a week. Being referred from one place to another. Thankfully all say that the baby looks fine  though it is too late to conduct some tests such as Down's Syndrome. I still don't know a due date, the scans show something between 17 May and 27 May!

I could only get my first midwife's appointment for one month from now! How ridiculous is that?!

In the meantime, we are still trying to figure out the room and sleeping arrangements in the house, maternity nurse, night nanny etc.

It seems like the baby is moving less now that we have finally found out she is there. I guess now she is resting and growing:-)

Shock!

I only found out that I am pregnant for the third (!) time three days ago and that I am already 20 weeks and 4 days, two days ago! It is so unexpected, so unplanned, such a shock!

It has been a roller coaster past three days with our lives turning upside down. We had just settled as a four member family, as a couple we were just getting back to social life, I had just started going to gym again, doing some things for myself.

We cannot even figure out how we will sort out the sleeping arrangements. My husband's biggest worry is that he will be neglected again and of course exhausted, run down with the lack of sleep, cries, tantrums. Of course, financially all our plans are out the window. I just hope that we can provide the best possible education and life opportunities for all three kids.

What's most annoying is the fact that the GP I visited, which would have been the first weeks of the pregnancy, with faintness and abdominal pains, didn't even think that I might be pregnant. It didn't even come up! So I went to gastroinstentinal specialist to figure out the cause of my abdominal pains, had to endure endoscopy and colonoscopy under anesthesia. It turns out that I was pregnant during all this and that the baby had to endure it too. Now I am extremely concerned for the health of my baby who didn't get proper antenatal care and had to be exposed to propofol as a fetus.

I am sad, lost for words, always crying with worry. I cannot sleep with the worry for my baby, my husband's feelings, my currently 16 month old son and 4 year old daughter. I already love this baby so much though. She has such a fighter in her. She let me know she was there with her movements and keeps kicking for the last three days. She is fighting for her place among us and I love her for that. 

Bedtime concerns

I must say that I am really enjoying the pregnancy this time around - maybe because I am feeling absolutely fine and probably I will not be pregnant again. So I kind of want it to last as long as possible. However, I am already worrying about a couple things; mainly relating to when the new baby arrives:
1.  How will I manage the bedtime with one baby and one toddler?
2. Who will look after my first one when my husband and I are at the hospital having the baby? - This has been bothering me for weeks now and with no family nearby or friends available on or around the dates, it is really concerning. I might have to be all alone at the hospital while my husband looks after our first one...

Exercise

Now that finally I am feeling perfectly normal, I have been wanting to have a go again at pregnancy yoga and pilates. I haven't been doing any exercise at all except for housework and running after my first one.

Things were so different with my first pregnancy. Even though I was feeling much worse, I was going to dance classes twice a week and doing yoga and pilates every week also.

It's just that now I never seem to find the time. Yet, I want to do and give everything equally the same with my second baby as well. 

Time Flying

This time round, it feels like the pregnancy is flying by. I don't know why. Maybe because my first one keeps me very busy. As this probably will be my last pregnancy, for some reason, I want it to last long and to enjoy it. I know it sounds silly.

This baby is moving less than my first one used to, which is worrying me all the time. I can't wait for the next appointment where I can hear the heartbeat again.

It is very strange but ever since I know that it is a boy and I hear of tales how boys love their mother until they get married and then they become part of their bride's family (which I know is more than a tale, it is true!), I am already feeling jealous of my boy's future girlfriends and wife!!! 

It's a ....

BOYYYYY!!!! This time around I wanted to find out. With my first, it was a surprise and a lovely one at that. Now I will have one of each. I am so happy. I have already went through my daughter's old baby cloths and thankfully there are quite a few neutral ones that I can use the second time around.

Tummy Bug

Just as when I thought all my troubles and pain were done and dusted, I caught a tummy bug, which made me truly miserable. Even worse, it made me worry about the baby again who I hadn't felt move for about 3 days. So the maternity clinic told me to go to A&E. At Chelsea & Westminster Hospital, they were absolutely wonderful. They put me in ultrasound immediately and found the baby's heartbeat. There was also a gynecologist at the A&E who checked everything and eased my worries. They asked me to come back for another scan the following day. Everything went very smoothly. I was truly impressed with the service and the care they have given. They put me at ease. Thankfully, the tummy bug cleared in two days and I can now start enjoying the nausea free second trimester. 

Heatbeat

I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time at the midwife's appointment today. The baby was moving quite a lot, escaping the Doppler but it was quite nice. What's not nice is the remnants of the terrible respiratory infection I had. I am completely shattered. My head is like a factory, it hurts so bad. I cannot breath and with my headache I cannot think, walk or sleep. When will I feel normal again?

Influenza & Pregnancy

The cycle started with my husband, then my daughter and now me. I normally never get sick but I guess as the immune system is suppressed during pregnancy, I caught the dreadful virus and I have the flu. It is complete torture. What makes it worse is worrying about the baby I am carrying and whether it will be affected by it. I have been reading some terrible things on the Internet, so I requested a call back from my GP who still hasn't called back. Having a two year old toddler (who is already going through terrible TERRIBLE twos) and husband who are sick also doesn't help.

Exercise? No thank you

Now that I don't feel as nauseated anymore, I thought I would start physical activity with some yoga. My goodness, I couldn't have felt worse. For days after doing a short session of simple pregnancy yoga, I couldn't gather my energy levels back. And so, I couldn't go back to doing any exercise at all, which is worrying me.

Just like in the first trimester, I am still feeling extremely exhausted, pretty much at all times. Even work has started to get to me. I find it difficult to cope. I am starting to wonder if I have iron deficiency. 

Baby Shower II

Taking advantage of my mum’s visit, we decided to host a baby shower where we live to celebrate our first baby with friends in this country. It was a lovely afternoon tea party and my mum’s cooking went down really well.

My husband may be suffering from some sort of baby blues though; I guess the idea and responsibility of fatherhood may unconsciously seem a bit daunting. But he is extremely sweet and accommodating to my and the baby’s needs. 

Too Big or Not Too Big?

So my mum is visiting this week and disinfecting the entire house to get it ready for the baby. She is also cooking wonderfully nutritious and delicious food, which I like.

She told me that my belly is not as big as it should be at 6 and half months and this was very upsetting for me. She claims constantly that I am not eating well and taking good care and that’s why my belly is small. I was so incredibly down yesterday because of this comment.

My fellows at dance class though made me feel slightly better saying that I don’t show it because I have good posture. Maybe they were just trying to make me feel better but at least it worked. 

Boy or a Girl?

Lately, I am hearing a lot of guess work about the gender of my baby. It is overwhelmingly girl. Some say it is because of the shape of my belly (it is said that if you are having a girl, you become much bigger – so this must mean that I do really look fat), others, namely my best friend keeps having dreams that it is a girl.

I, on the other hand, have been guessing that it is a boy from the beginning. I know that it is cliché to say so but in all honesty, I do not care at all about the gender. I really only care and pray for a healthy baby. 

At Last...

I spent the last couple of weeks worrying about a possible infection, which could not be confirmed 100%. I was going back and forth to the doctor’s office with no concrete answer to what they were finding in the test results.

I have been extremely worried about an infection affecting my baby and/or having to take antibiotics.

Today, I finally got the clear from my latest test result. Phew!

In the meantime, I discovered that my baby really enjoys yoga. The baby moves non-stop and intensely after my yoga sessions. This makes me really happy.