Waiting again

So as of today, I am 5 days overdue based on NHS scan, 3 days by my calculations. My first one was right on time and the second six days late. Now everyone keeps asking me if I am sure this one is a girl because it is assumed - for some reason- that girls come quicker.

I am normally not in a rush at all. I prefer that the baby grows healthinly and comes out whenever she's ready. On the other hand, the midwife and the obstiatrician recommended sweep and induction. At first, I refused to interfere with nature but I was also told that it could otherwise be risky and that at least with the sweep, there are no drugs involved and if the baby is still not ready to come she won't come. So in order to reduce the likelihood of having to be induced in 3 days time, I agreed for a sweep. It's been one day and still nothing. I went for a long walk today, trying to eat spicy, pineapples, squatting and bouncing on yoga ball. Still nothing.

I am just so worried about being induced, the pain and the drugs that come with it. I would so love everything to be like the birth of my second one. So natural and smooth.

Moreover, the maternity nurse rightfully keeps chasing me because she has other commitments. The nanny is thankfully being flexible but she is having to forgo her other jobs. I am sure that it will all be fine at the end but it's all a mess and worry in my mind. I just hope that the baby is completely healthy, well, well developped. 

The Waiting Game

Even though my first one was right on time and the midwife told me repeatedly that this baby would also be the same since it has been engaged for almost a month now already, the baby is nowhere in sight.

I never thought that the waiting game could be so frustrating. I want the best for the baby, so if it needs to stay inside for longer that's fine but then I am also reading some scary information about babies that are overdue. The information is making me very anxious about the health of the baby.

I don't know if it is normal to not to feel any signs of labour at his time. No contractions, no discomfort, nothing. That feels strange to me. I just really hope and pray that the baby is fine and absolutely healthy.

None of the remedies seem to be working either. I guess babies do really come only when they are ready.

I feel quite bored now as well. Sometimes I think I shouldn't have started maternity leave so early on and should have continued taking on projects. But I could not have known I guess.

There is also the issue of planning. I have been organised with babysitting, maternity nurse, when my parents would fly in, filling up the fridge etc etc. But now with the date shifting to an unknown day in the calendar, all plans are out of the window...Anyway, I just hope that all is well with the baby. That's all I care and worry about at this point.

Baby Not Making an Entrance

Lately I feel way too comfortable. In fact, much more comfortable than I felt a few weeks earlier in my pregnancy. And so, there is no sight of baby; not even a feeling that it is about to come. Normally, that is all fine. It is just that with all the arrangements I had to make for someone to look after my first one while we are at the hospital and now that we are in the holiday season, it is getting more and more difficult to ensure that there will be someone who will be able to look after our first one, the later the baby arrives.

So I am trying all the remedies I heard of: Eating fresh pineapples, drinking raspberry leaf tea, eating spicy food, walking etc. 

Contractions, Tears and Laughter

I haven’t been able to keep up with my weekly writing because true to my due date, on week 40, my baby has indeed arrived!

5 days before the due date (Wednesday), irregular cramps have started although not painful. On Friday, I went for a walk with my mum where contractions have become stronger, by 7:30 pm we have decided to note down the regularity of them. When we reached the hospital, I was only dilated 2 cm but I couldn’t risk going back home as the pain was starting to be quite unbearable. Good thing, I didn’t go back home as the most agonising pain that exists in this world hit me pretty quick. Gas and air helped in the beginning and I must admit, I did enjoy the drowsiness. As the pain became more and more excruciating I was offered pexitocin and paracetamol but I refused. I was foolish enough to think that I was strong enough to control and handle the pain and my muscles. I agreed to sitting in warm bath, which was the best decision ever. Warm water had an incredible soothing effect. However, at the end, I was begging on my knees for an epidural.

The epidural was a life-saver at first but a couple of hours later, the pain came back with all its original intensity. My legs were numb but I could still feel everything around my belly. After suffering a few more hours, it was realised that there was a mistake with the epidural, so a second one had to be done. By then, I was completely exhausted as well as my husband and mum. We all were trying to take small naps in uncomfortable positions in the delivery room. After a long night, by Saturday mid-day I still wasn’t dilated beyond 3cm. My waters have been broken by the midwife and I was given inducing medication. Funny, after all the time and intention of staying clear of all sorts of medication and wishing for the most natural birth, I couldn’t control being so drugged up.

Towards the end of Saturday, due to our mistake of not topping up the epidural enough, the entire pain came back again! The midwife thought this could help with adrenalin and help me push. What it only did was to give an agonising pain to my left leg, which made me feel like cutting it and getting rid of it completely and it made me even more exhausted.

I was screaming like there was no one else on Earth. So embarrassing! God only knows what else I did or said. I do remember throwing up though. So ladylike!!! For the first 3 hours of Sunday morning I pushed and pushed unsuccessfully. My drugs were topped up again to almost a C-section operation level and I finally had some more energy to push but again with no success. Vantouse didn’t work and as the theatre was being prepared for a C-section, forceps finally did the trick – though the baby did refuse coming out with it as well! My mum says that as my baby was coming out, her eyes were open and she had a very serious face as if she was questioning why she was being forced out.

She was first put on my belly and then frisked away. No one had even told us the gender at the time as, as soon as it was ensured that the baby was healthy, everyone’s focus was on me. I had lost a lot of blood, endured cuts, forceps, lots of drugs, shock and my body was shaking uncontrollably. I felt incredibly cold as well. I was told that the shaking would last at least an hour; however, as soon as my baby was put back on my skin, the shaking and the coldness disappeared immediately. It was like a miracle.

To make a long story short, after checking in at the hospital on Friday evening and 33 hours of labour, we were not discharged from the hospital until the following Wednesday afternoon due to the complications I faced, especially with my blood levels. Thankfully, my beautiful baby daughter has been well.

Everything I wanted to avoid and do differently during the labour was thrown out the window. It is simply impossible to plan it. You can only pray and hope that it will turn out to be easy and quick enough and you will end up with a happy and healthy baby.

As soon as I get the chance and time, which is extremely rare to come by nowadays, I wish to write and keep record of the first days and –if possible- years of my baby daughter on a similar platform on f1rstyears.blogspot.com. Fingers crossed!

PS: We lost the camera with which we took my darling daughter’s first pictures and videos in a car we rented. I am completely devastated!