Vinegar?

My food and smell aversion is not as bad as my first pregnancy thankfully but then this made me unintentionally eat food that may be risky.

I freaked out when I found out a dip I ate contained red wine vinegar so I started reading up on it. I was relieved to find out that it didn't actually contain alcohol but vinegar, especially balsamic vinegar could potentially contain lead. Then I remembered I had incredulous amounts of balsamic vinegar and other dips and sauces with vinegar earlier as well as tap water, which apparently may contain lead as well if it is from an old building (such as the Victorian building we are living in!)

I have been losing sleep and getting upset about this situation. I called the healthline of our private insurance company and what the nurse told me was basically that there is nothing relating to vinegar in NHS Guidelines but she can see that such claims exist in various websites, so I'd better stop using vinegar all together. She also recommended that I speak to an NHS midwife.

Ridiculously, the first appointment I have been given with an NHS midwife is not for 6 weeks! So I called them and posed my question and the midwife I spoke with didn't even know what lead was.  She said again that there is nothing against vinegar in the NHS Guidelines.

Not satisfied, I have been trying to get a consultation appointment with respected obstetricians on a private basis over the last week, without success.

 I don't understand why midwifery has not turned into a factory mechanism and all concerns are shrugged off as normal and typical pregnancy worries. I do understand that NHS is really stretched for resources but taking care of pregnancy women and their babies should a priority to avoid expensive complications further down the line. 

Fear

It is a funny concept “to try for a baby.” The world population has exceeded 6 billion and yet whilst for some there isn’t much of a thought process behind making a baby, for others, it has to be planned and timed carefully.

On the other hand, being conscious about it all is enjoyable. The father of the baby doesn’t feel so traditionally detached. He is really involved.

So it appears that after not very long time of “actively and consciously” letting it be, we are pregnant. Even though I wasn’t thinking about it all the time, I kind of knew. All the signs and the pains were there. However, their similarity to menstrual cramps was a little confusing.

 I was extremely calm when I found out. My feelings were in fact quite neutral – as this is often how I feel when I don’t know what to think or do. But soon after I told my husband, I could feel my body shaking. I still did not know why.

I quickly immersed myself in reading up all the Dos and Don’ts. There are a lot of Don’ts in almost all the areas that define our lifestyle: Food, cosmetics, activities…

My main concern was with being able to continue dancing. I was inexplicably worried about no longer being ME while pregnant. Dancing is what makes me, ME. I was happy to find out that I could continue albeit reduce the intensity.

My year’s supplies of facial creams, mouth wash, body lotions, shampoos, which contain the harmful chemicals, have been stored for post-breast feeding use. I had no idea how difficult it was to find cosmetics products, which are pregnancy friendly!

Next on the agenda is to purchase antenatal yoga and pilates DVDs.

As I read through the ante and post-pregnancy guide that my GP handed me, I am amazed by the amount of knowledge I lack about pregnancy and babies. I decided to take it one step at a time. For the time being, I will only be concerned with my first trimester. I can’t even begin to think about the time after that.

All the while, I am extremely overwhelmed with fear. The fear of not looking after well what God trusted me in my womb, the fear of delivery pains, the fear of not being a good mother, the fear of not being a good wife…At the moment, I am simply terrified!