The Ongoing Joys

I performed three full length flamenco dances at 15 weeks pregnant. Phew! Watching the footage, I can see that my belly is sticking out but the adrenalin must have taken over the progesterone to give me energy. Of course, the days following the performance, I have been debilitated and my usual sick pregnant self again.

I thought nausea and sickness were supposed to disappear by now. But it seems like I might be one of those unlucky ones who experience this discomfort throughout pregnancy. It is horrid.

This has taken over my life so much that I worry about my husband who has been wonderful in helping me around the house. To him, I must appear like no other than a couch potato who snacks all day long and who can’t even her mouth for a conversation due to risk of getting risk. 

Start Spreading The News

My lovely husband treated me for a spa extravaganza today. It was incredibly lovely to be pampered. Beauty treatments are not the sort of thing I ever attend do, so I really start to enjoy my pregnancy now.

The news is spreading as well. Close relatives and friends have been informed and the joy is certainly felt better when it is shared.

On the other hand, a couple of days ago I realized that I lost 1 kg. since my scan so I am very worried about the health of my baby. I really hope that all is fine. 

The Future

So I finally broke the news to my dance teacher. She told me she should have been the second person to know after my husband and that she feels bad for telling me off in earlier weeks for not doing a movement properly. That was very sweet. She was very surprised that I am already 3 months though. I guess I don’t show it yet though I already gained 3 kg.

Me being my usual worrying self, I am already depressing over my life, more specifically, my career after the baby comes. I am absolutely terrified. It is not the baby who will change my career. The problem is that I haven’t been able to establish a career, which speaks to my heart so far anyway. And it will get only harder as I get older and am with no child care.

To top it all, the natural disasters in Japan, the radiation leak, problems in the Middle East, problems in my own country, everything upsets me so much. I cry almost every night. I worry about bringing a child into this troubled world.

It’s A Baby!

I had my first scan today and the moment I saw my baby on the monitor, I gasped in shock. It really is there. There is really a baby in me. And it is fully formed.

This puts things in perspective. Until now, all I felt was the debilitating symptoms of pregnancy but now nothing in the world matters anymore. I simply cannot believe that there is a baby in me, kicking and jerking. I am overcome by the pride I feel for my little one’s fingers and toes, big head and belly. It is simply incredible and beautiful!

News

So we finally had to give in to my mom’s Sherlock Holmes games and give the news to parents earlier than planned. Thankfully, they all agree with us that the news should not be spread until much later.

Advice has started to pour in of course, it is unavoidable. I, on the other hand, am in a panic mode. The horror delivery stories are truly messing with my head.